Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Post-coital Aegis
Post-coital Aegis
He's out of town again
Another strange hotel
Laying on a new to him bed
That doesn't have his imprint from old dreams
She waits at home
Always waiting for something
Always worried about those new beds
She takes a sponge bath on those mornings
Keeping a patch of skin he touched from the soap
so a trace of him isn't completely washed away
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
She never drinks all the coffee he made before he left.
Adds new grounds on top of old ones
brews a desperate blend
mixing what was left with what will be
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
In the evening he will call
And they will talk about the somedays.
Someday she will have no babies to take care of
and she can go with him
Someday he can retire
and they will never sleep alone
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
She sleeps on his side of the bed
Before sleeping, opens his closet door
just enough so that the light inside comes on
Letting the light spilling out be a candle in the window
And then she sleeps on the imprint of his old dreams
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
Annie Miller
7am June 13, 2005
He's out of town again
Another strange hotel
Laying on a new to him bed
That doesn't have his imprint from old dreams
She waits at home
Always waiting for something
Always worried about those new beds
She takes a sponge bath on those mornings
Keeping a patch of skin he touched from the soap
so a trace of him isn't completely washed away
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
She never drinks all the coffee he made before he left.
Adds new grounds on top of old ones
brews a desperate blend
mixing what was left with what will be
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
In the evening he will call
And they will talk about the somedays.
Someday she will have no babies to take care of
and she can go with him
Someday he can retire
and they will never sleep alone
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
She sleeps on his side of the bed
Before sleeping, opens his closet door
just enough so that the light inside comes on
Letting the light spilling out be a candle in the window
And then she sleeps on the imprint of his old dreams
And she waits
And she worries
Until he comes home
Annie Miller
7am June 13, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Annie's Prayer
Annie's Prayer
Sweet cupid soothe his sorrowed heart
And brush away the tear stained lock,
From his still worried brow.
Gentle as a baby's breath,
Remove the arrow you did strike.
A glorious red center spot
In my sweet lovers soul.
Remove the pain,
erase the want.
His suffering hold at bay.
Even if, to lose the pain,
My name he now knows not.
Then, as to him,
guard soft,
guard sweet,
And love-pierce his heart again tomorrow.
From she which sits upon his hearth,
And can his dear lips borrow,
And keep secure and safe this heart
That was my own, once ripped from me.
But as to me,
You leave ALONE.
And never touch his arrow.
I choose to hear Love's Echo's Quest ...
To comfort in this sorrow,
And hold my memories close.
Now as to me; fly, FLY away.
And never aim again at,
For my heart has become as stone
Forlorn. Apart. Aloof. Alone.
For my heart has become as clay,
Love cured,
Kill-fired,
Empty vat
Hard --- white --- as ancient bone.
Sent from my iPhone
Soul's Echo
Soul's Echo
Deep inside my warrior heart,
There lies a shameless spark
Of Pollyanna hopefulness,
To dreams dreamed in the dark.
I dream that my human essence has a single echo,
A sole echo, somehow split apart …
And now it lives inside another,
A man like no other,
Who resonates to my heart.
I occupy a wasteland, vast and barren
with canyons everywhere,
and when my soul does cry out
no soul echoes answer there.
I travel light, yet weary,
the hot wind in my face.
I travel long and clearly
I cannot find my Soul's echo's place
I dream of always, ALL ways.
I search for you, in sleep and at wake!
My soul cries across the gully and waits for soul echo's sake.
Still waits for Soul's echoes sake.
Do you dream of this echo?
This shadow of your soul?
Do you search yourself, in secret?
Or do you finally let go,
then seek some other goal?
Do you finally forget?
Forget...
forget...
forget....
Echooooooooo's Soul?
Annie Miller 8/19
Sent from my iPhone
Deep inside my warrior heart,
There lies a shameless spark
Of Pollyanna hopefulness,
To dreams dreamed in the dark.
I dream that my human essence has a single echo,
A sole echo, somehow split apart …
And now it lives inside another,
A man like no other,
Who resonates to my heart.
I occupy a wasteland, vast and barren
with canyons everywhere,
and when my soul does cry out
no soul echoes answer there.
I travel light, yet weary,
the hot wind in my face.
I travel long and clearly
I cannot find my Soul's echo's place
I dream of always, ALL ways.
I search for you, in sleep and at wake!
My soul cries across the gully and waits for soul echo's sake.
Still waits for Soul's echoes sake.
Do you dream of this echo?
This shadow of your soul?
Do you search yourself, in secret?
Or do you finally let go,
then seek some other goal?
Do you finally forget?
Forget...
forget...
forget....
Echooooooooo's Soul?
Annie Miller 8/19
Sent from my iPhone
Telempathy
Telempathy by Annie Miller
Sitting in my big arm chair and reading a new book
feeling you there across from me
as you pause and glance up to take a look
softly smile with the joy of me in your eyes
then a hesitation, and the smile shines a little less
the gravity of it all takes its toll
a sadness shadows over you
of regret and haunting heavy wishes
I wish I could rise to take you in my lap,
rock your head against my breast and kiss your temple,
kisses light as faith where your heart beats near my lips
kiss until the thoughts ease a bit
kiss until the guilt falls asleep
but I cannot rise to hold you
I cannot heal with touch
because you are not really here
And my empty arms ache like a mother's full breasts ache with need to feed her crying child
My empty arms ache with need to feed my soul
and it's distant echo
you are two thousand miles away
a different place
a different life
a different room
a different comforter who doesn't comfort
yet I know as sure as I am
that you feel me near
and when you forget to forget,
look up and do see me then
smile deep inside your mind in that distant secret spot that is still our home
allow a moment of light and lightness
before your self imposed sentry makes you pick up the sackcloth,
carry on the heavy weight of the ashes you eat daily
as if it were water you must drink to live
Annie Miller
3:00 am
7/9/02
Sent from my iPhone
Sitting in my big arm chair and reading a new book
feeling you there across from me
as you pause and glance up to take a look
softly smile with the joy of me in your eyes
then a hesitation, and the smile shines a little less
the gravity of it all takes its toll
a sadness shadows over you
of regret and haunting heavy wishes
I wish I could rise to take you in my lap,
rock your head against my breast and kiss your temple,
kisses light as faith where your heart beats near my lips
kiss until the thoughts ease a bit
kiss until the guilt falls asleep
but I cannot rise to hold you
I cannot heal with touch
because you are not really here
And my empty arms ache like a mother's full breasts ache with need to feed her crying child
My empty arms ache with need to feed my soul
and it's distant echo
you are two thousand miles away
a different place
a different life
a different room
a different comforter who doesn't comfort
yet I know as sure as I am
that you feel me near
and when you forget to forget,
look up and do see me then
smile deep inside your mind in that distant secret spot that is still our home
allow a moment of light and lightness
before your self imposed sentry makes you pick up the sackcloth,
carry on the heavy weight of the ashes you eat daily
as if it were water you must drink to live
Annie Miller
3:00 am
7/9/02
Sent from my iPhone
Dragon in Ice
Dragon in Ice by Annie Miller
Like iceberg wind on winter sand
My words blow bitter cold
Frozen sandpaper
against the gate of my throat
The pressure of anger unresolved,
a lava passion contained
There is a secret pleasure in heated words,
a warmth to the unrestrained
my self imposed politeness
make nice is how you do it
a censor in the quietness
dont let the monster out at all
else you may lose your world.
unhobbled …
he will devour
everything you love.
So where to go from here?
How to help silence the worst ....
How to help heed the best?
I see no solution near.
Can you find a muzzle for the beast,
without muting all the rest?
TAB
12/21/01 4:16:28 AM
Sent from my iPhone
"The Conjugation of Paramecium"
The Conjugation of Paramedium by Annie Miller
"The Conjugation of Paramecium"
December 5, 2000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my lowfat salad days
when the major carbs I consumed
were of the hops variety,
back when weighing 125 was too fat,
I was a student of science.
Oh so smarty pants me,
smirking on a full scholarship,
double majoring
in Biology and Chemistry.
I loved the lab work,
perfected the way to ace a pratical.
Biology was my nature.
And nothing sparked my passion more
than that sense of discovery
everytime I held a scalpel in my hand
or turned the dial to adjust
power in my microscope.
Ohhh those days ...
those wonderfully different days.
Black and white only light.
A world of structured absolutes.
Where I was certain I could find
(if I didn't already know)
the answer to any question.
A hubris
that only having children could destroy.
I loved the romance of the words
as well as the scientific method,
there was a romance under the order.
Phrases like;
Mendel's Laws of Heredity, Bacillus thuringiensis, Transgenic animal, Electrophoresis, Chromosome walking, Genetic engineering, Immortalizing oncogene, Cell Organelles, Medulla oblongata, Carolus Linnaeus, Double helix, Escherichia coli, Genetic assimilation, Deoxyribonucleic acid, Vitreous Fluid, Dichotomous Key, Xiphoid process, Ilium, Ischium, Lacrimal duct, Mitochondrial Eukaryotes, Proximal view, Occipital ridge, Corpus callosum, Islets of Langerhans.....
This list could go on and on and on ...
so many beautiful exotic sounding terms ...
and all sounding so magical to me,
talismanic words,
more powerful than "open sesame".
So many words, terms I adore, but my favorite?
That one must be "The conjugation of paramecium".
"The conjugation of paramecium".
Say it with me. Doesn't it speak of science in the mystery?
A Paramecium is a little slipper footed single celled creature.
Ciliated,somewhat like a dandylion's skin
before the wind takes the fluff away.
Paramecium ...
A fuzzy furry creature shaped like a fat pea pod.
It usually lives in fresh water
and is so small
its barely visible to the naked eye
just a tiny pinpoint
in a jar held up to light.
details can only be seen under a microscope.
Paramecium ...
paramecium caudatum
the species of choice for basic academia
to teach cell division.
See, paramecium usually do it alone
Aesexual reproduction or Mitosis it is called.
The poor thing decides its time to be two not one.
and does it on its own.
But when things get bad
and the world gets mean
and it fears extinction
it seeks out others of its kind
and finding someone simular
gets close and closer
first making sure they are the same
and then it gets closer still
untill
they touch and then touch more
and they find each others notch
and get even closer still
then they shiver
and they shake
and they quiver like
a mini earthquake
and they exchange bits of themselves
they share their personal architecture
a few building blocks here and there
and the shaking stops
and they seperate
hoping the connection
and the giving
make them strong enough
to survive another day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sent from my iPhone
"The Conjugation of Paramecium"
December 5, 2000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my lowfat salad days
when the major carbs I consumed
were of the hops variety,
back when weighing 125 was too fat,
I was a student of science.
Oh so smarty pants me,
smirking on a full scholarship,
double majoring
in Biology and Chemistry.
I loved the lab work,
perfected the way to ace a pratical.
Biology was my nature.
And nothing sparked my passion more
than that sense of discovery
everytime I held a scalpel in my hand
or turned the dial to adjust
power in my microscope.
Ohhh those days ...
those wonderfully different days.
Black and white only light.
A world of structured absolutes.
Where I was certain I could find
(if I didn't already know)
the answer to any question.
A hubris
that only having children could destroy.
I loved the romance of the words
as well as the scientific method,
there was a romance under the order.
Phrases like;
Mendel's Laws of Heredity, Bacillus thuringiensis, Transgenic animal, Electrophoresis, Chromosome walking, Genetic engineering, Immortalizing oncogene, Cell Organelles, Medulla oblongata, Carolus Linnaeus, Double helix, Escherichia coli, Genetic assimilation, Deoxyribonucleic acid, Vitreous Fluid, Dichotomous Key, Xiphoid process, Ilium, Ischium, Lacrimal duct, Mitochondrial Eukaryotes, Proximal view, Occipital ridge, Corpus callosum, Islets of Langerhans.....
This list could go on and on and on ...
so many beautiful exotic sounding terms ...
and all sounding so magical to me,
talismanic words,
more powerful than "open sesame".
So many words, terms I adore, but my favorite?
That one must be "The conjugation of paramecium".
"The conjugation of paramecium".
Say it with me. Doesn't it speak of science in the mystery?
A Paramecium is a little slipper footed single celled creature.
Ciliated,somewhat like a dandylion's skin
before the wind takes the fluff away.
Paramecium ...
A fuzzy furry creature shaped like a fat pea pod.
It usually lives in fresh water
and is so small
its barely visible to the naked eye
just a tiny pinpoint
in a jar held up to light.
details can only be seen under a microscope.
Paramecium ...
paramecium caudatum
the species of choice for basic academia
to teach cell division.
See, paramecium usually do it alone
Aesexual reproduction or Mitosis it is called.
The poor thing decides its time to be two not one.
and does it on its own.
But when things get bad
and the world gets mean
and it fears extinction
it seeks out others of its kind
and finding someone simular
gets close and closer
first making sure they are the same
and then it gets closer still
untill
they touch and then touch more
and they find each others notch
and get even closer still
then they shiver
and they shake
and they quiver like
a mini earthquake
and they exchange bits of themselves
they share their personal architecture
a few building blocks here and there
and the shaking stops
and they seperate
hoping the connection
and the giving
make them strong enough
to survive another day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sent from my iPhone
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